it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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