What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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