My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
