You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
