i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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