I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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