You're completely useless in the revolution.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
