in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
