my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
