If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
