Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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