grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
