we have pet lesbian snakes
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
