"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
