kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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