I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm at about main and main street
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
