We won't sleep together?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
