What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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