Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
