I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
