I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
