turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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