I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
