I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
