the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
