Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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