So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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