420 ftw
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
