I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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