So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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