If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
