She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
