it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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