Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
