I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
