I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
