Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
