Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Congratulations! We have a period
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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