Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
