you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
