we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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