he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
