I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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