Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
