who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
