On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
our cab driver is having phone sex.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize