i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
