Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
