and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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