i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
